So...

I was born and raised in Markham. I would say I came from a pretty typical Asian household: parents, older brother, myself. Growing up, I was a very shy, introverted person; I grew up in a Christian household and went to a Christian private school. So I think a lot of my earlier years, I was very much naive to what the world was really like. Then transitioned out of private school when I was in grade seven. I was lucky, I made really good friends that were pretty similar to me. I think I kinda stayed in my little bubble all throughout elementary school, middle school, even high school too. Never really got to experience any kind of like, hardships. It wasn’t a bad thing! [laughs] It was a pretty chill, normal childhood I would say.

So then when I went to university—went to McMaster. That’s where I think I really started tuning into things, that’s when I started getting more exposed to what teenagers really do, the peer pressures in life... and I think I didn’t really know how to handle it. So I continued being quiet, and hung out with the regular people that I was accustomed to, like people from high school that went to the same university as me. I just stuck around them and didn't try to expand my association. Then by second year, that’s when I started realizing that I needed to grow up a little bit more. So I started branching out on my own: went to take dance classes, join other clubs where I’d have to mingle and meet people. That’s what pushed me to start feeling like, “Okay, you need to make other friends, you need to step out of your comfort zone.”

So university, that transition for me was really hard because I was shy, I would say I had pretty low self-esteem in terms of how I saw myself—I never thought I was good enough. At that stage in my life I hadn’t dated anyone before, so I was always worried about what people and what guys would think of me. As I started exposing myself to new types of people, I got more and more comfortable with myself, and I think throughout my undergrad years I got a lot better. I began to date people, and that started to boost my confidence in myself. Also, my perspective on life and what I wanted to do with my life definitely changed, being in a healthcare profession, as an occupational therapist. I learned a lot of perspective from the clients that I’ve worked with, seeing what they go through in life and what real challenges that I never knew existed.

What are some things that you deal with that others may not experience?

My job has exposed me to so many different things. I’ve worked in geriatric health with elderly people, I’ve worked in mental health, and I’ve worked in paediatric health. So I think in every sector, I’ve learned something vastly different. Currently right now, I work in paediatrics. I work with kids that have special needs, and a lot of the times they have diagnoses of autism, or ADHD and what not. So I’ve experienced or seen what parents go through. Obviously you don’t expect your child to have issues; when you have your baby, you’re excited. Sometimes, unless it was diagnosed when they were a baby or before they were born, you kinda know and you’ve prepared yourself, but a lot of times these things... they don't arise until they’re maybe one, two years old, even older. I see how much that impacts the parents livelihood and also the child’s livelihood. It’s an eye-opener, something you don't think about. The older I get, I realize eventually... I’ll get married and have kids and these things can happen. It’s very real, your child can have challenges, and how are you going to handle it. The struggles that I see that people experience are problems with lack of time and lack of money. Those are huge things that I think has prepared me to start thinking about, because I don't want to have that type of trouble. Like you never know what’s going to happen, whether it's with your child, or yourself, or a family member goes through something and you need to be there for them. I think that’s what I’ve learned.

What are you keeping track of within your professional field?

Something that I have becoming more aware of is... the idea of self-regulation and sensory processing, so... I don’t know if this is going to be too technical. [laughs] Self-regulation: the ability to be aware of your emotions and control them. A lot of children, not just children... I find a lot of adults struggle with this, and because I’m learning this in a professional type of way... it’s helped me to understand people in general. When I see children that have very poor self-regulation, I link that to people that I work with, or people I just know in my life that struggle with it at the age of 25 or the age of 50, and I’m like “Oh, I can see these connections.”

Would you like to be famous one day, if so in what way, if not, why?

I’d like to be recognized for my achievements or for helping people. I think for a while I thought about being famous... like I wanted to be a Youtube person or be famous for having my own baked goods—healthy baked goods and stuff like that. I think that’d be pretty cool.

What would you constitute as a perfect day, the morning you wake up to when you go to sleep?

Okay, yeah I have it. So I wake up decently early... I would say seven o’clock? I’d say a perfect day for me is a day where I feel productive. If I wake up at seven, I feel like I’m starting at a good time where I have the morning ahead of me. I wake up, I would make a coffee, a bullet-proof coffee. I would sit on my kitchen table, cause it’s right by my balcony. Outside would be nice, clear and sunny... or I guess the sun is rising or something, I dunno. [laughs] So I have my coffee there and my book, and I’m reading. After that, make a nice breakfast, and probably chill with Marco for a while—just chat with him. Listen to some motivational audios, and then... probably go out. Probably hit up a nice brunch spot, even though I already had breakfast. Then have some fun, adventurous activity, like.. I dunno what that could be. Something random it could be like, a pottery class or some rock climbing.

For what in life do you feel most grateful for?

I’d have to say some of the relationships that I have in my life. I'm thankful for the people in my life when I have times of like... doubt. When I’m doubtful or when I’m feeling sad or something, I know that they are there for me to talk to. The people who are there to push me forward in life, I’m grateful for that.

If you could change anything in how you were raised or how you grew up, what would you change and why?

I thought about this recently! Communication... yes, for sure. In my family we have very poor communication, a lot of family members are not expressive, or they’re very impatient with each other because they don’t understand each other’s... they can’t empathize with each other. So therefore our communication skills all clash and it’s almost like we’re talking on different wavelengths, and we never intercept.

If you could wake up tomorrow and gain any sort of ability or character trait, what would it be and why?

I wanna to be able to read quickly and have really good memory. Knowledge is powerful..as long as I can remember that information.

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about your, your life or the future, anything else, what would you want to know?

Not really, I wouldn't want to know anything that I don’t know. I feel like if I knew I don’t think I would regret it, but I’d always be questioning it, and I don’t think that’s something healthy for me. I would just want to move forward.

Is there something that you dreamed of doing for a long time, why haven’t you done it yet?

Travelling to Japan and Korea. I haven’t gone yet because it’s expensive. If I were to go, I would for sure go for at least three to four weeks and that would be a pretty costly trip.

What is the greatest achievement in your life?

Finally feeling comfortable in my own skin. It was a process for me, it was a lot of self-reflection to get me to this point. Understanding what my values are and not being impacted by other people’s opinions helped me to be comfortable with who I am.

What do you value most in your friendships, can you describe what a best friend is to you?

I value somebody who will actively listen to me. Somebody who will be there for me, especially when I need it, and won’t judge me for my decisions in life. A best friend: somebody who will support me and try to... will make the effort to try and understand who I am, and why I do the things that I do.

Can you describe your most treasured memory?

Probably the trip I had with my mom this year. I took her to Spain and Portugal. It was one of those things where I was really frustrated with her a lot on the trip, but at the same time, we got to experience alot of fun and great things together.. I got to know my mom on a deeper level, understand why she is the way that she is.

It wasn’t necessarily anything particular on the trip, it’s more the significance that we went on a trip together, and how happy she was. She’s the kind of person that would never travel on her own and would always need somebody to take her somewhere, because she’s not really great with maps and stuff like that. She was really appreciative of me taking her, and then to see how happy she was when she came back: she would be telling all her friends like, “Oh Lisa took me on this trip, she planned everything,“ and then her friends would come to me and say things like, “I heard you took your mom and I wish MY daughter would do that.” I know how happy that made my mom feel.

What is your most terrible memory?

Probably getting really mad at my dad. It was on my graduation day, university, and he was just being very, very particular about everything. He has a very regimented personality: everything has to be a certain way, if things go off track he starts to get aggravated. He was getting so aggravated cause I had made a mistake that day, I think I took us to the wrong location and it really pissed him off cause I didn’t check properly where it was. It was my fault, but the fact that it was my graduation day: I spent four years working hard for this day, and because I made one mistake like this, it’s not like it was the end of the world, we’ll just drive to the actual location... but he was getting pissed so I lost it. I just remember (cause I was driving), I was so mad I slammed on the brakes, that’s how mad I was... and my grandparents were in the car too, that was even worse. They ended up getting really, really pissed off at my dad like, “How can you do this? This is Lisa’s day, why are you being like this?” So that created a really sour environment within our family.

What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I might get a little sappy. [frowns] Background first: I came from a very non-affectionate family, I have never seen my parents kiss or hold hands... maybe one time? So I never really cared about that stuff, and love to me was kind of like, “What is this? I dunno, I guess you just date someone and that’s love?” It wasn’t until I met Marco that I realized what love and affection is, because I could see it. Not just from him, but the way he is with his family... I mean they’re Italian, [laughs] so they’re going to be way more affectionate. To just see how much they show it in their actions was really great to see. When I met them they showed it to me, and I was like, “Wow, this is what it feels like to be... physically hugged very often, or like being kissed on the cheeks on the time.” For sure that’s translated into my relationship with Marco too, he’s a very affectionate person, and I never realized how much I do enjoy that.

How close and warm is your family? How is your relationship with each family member?

I’m probably the closest with my mom, she’s always been the nurturer, caregiver of the family. I feel like it’s an interesting dynamic, she’s somebody that I know will always be there for me. I’m very close with her, but at the same time I think we’re on a different wavelength in terms of how we think—sometimes we clash that way. With my dad, I find that he’s a very logical person, so I connect with him in that sense, but we are not close at all because his personality is very hard to get along with. He was never... close to me growing up, he was the kind of dad that was always at work. Anything that I had to do, it was always my mom helping me out. My brother, growing up... three year age gap, female and male... we didn’t have much in common growing up, so we were doing our own thing. As we got older, at some point I kind of caught up to his... intellectual level where we could have good conversations. But because we’ve been geographically far apart, we don’t see each other much. we’re both also the kind of people where if you’re not here, we don’t really make much effort to talk to each other.

Before meeting you, what is something that people should know?

I’m a very thoughtful person, I think sometimes I come off quiet or unengaged... but it’s really because I’m thinking a lot.

What you like most about yourself?

I like that I’m adventurous, that I’m willing to try things. I think that’s gotten me to where I am today, there were many times in the past where I was like, “Man I don’t wanna do this because I’m scared, or something might go wrong.” Then I’m like, “No I’m just gonna do it,” cause I have thoughts like, “What if something great comes out of it?” So that’s what motivates me to do it.

When was the last time you cried in front of another person, when was the last time you cried to yourself?

It definitely happened recently. Okay, so the one in private... was recently, cause my grandpa’s not doing too well, he’s palliative, and we know he has cancer. So for the last few weeks, it’s been pretty hard on my mom, and it wasn’t until probably a week or two ago where it really hit me like, “Oh, he’s really gonna pass away...” I felt like I wasn’t making enough of an effort, I was going to see him, but I wasn’t making enough of an effort, knowing that he’s passing away maybe the next few months or something. So I think I felt guilty in a way, I also was very emotional about what my mom’s going through. I just remember, I was sitting in my car and I was starting to think about it while I was still driving. The tears started coming, my vision got foggy. Luckily I was close to my destination, so I stopped the car and I just bawled... and then I was fine. Then it just kind of passed, but I think it was something that was just building up in me that I didn't realize and it just needed to come out.

In front of someone else, probably in front of Marco, on a similar thing. It’s probably more about my mom though, crying because I felt sorry for her, for what she has to do right now: taking care of my grandparents. My grandpa can be quite hard-headed and quite harsh on her, and I can see how much that’s affecting her, and also my grandma, my grandma she’s a sweet lady, but she’s just more... aggravating my mom, because my mom needs to take care of her, it’s frustrating my mom on so many levels. Also my dad is not helping with the situation, and I think because I’ve been watching her go through all of this, and I’m trying to help her, but I just feel like I’m not able to get through to her, that I felt really upset and just sad.

What, if anything is too serious to joke about?

I don’t think that there’s like, anything too serious to joke about, unless you’re... very insulting with your joke. If you’re joking but low-key being mean about it, I think that’s... yeah.

If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you regret most not having told someone, and why haven’t you told them?

Probably something to my dad. Something to do with showing my appreciation to him, because we are so distant, and we lack a lot of communication in our family. I think that’s something that I don’t really do... where I show him... I really do appreciate everything he has done for me, despite all the stuff that’s happened between our family. I think he needs to hear it sometimes, he’s a very independent, solo type of person seems like, “Ohh it doesn’t matter what people say to me, I’m fine.” But at the end of the day, we’re all human, deep down we all need to know that we’re appreciated and that people love us. I don’t think I tell him that.

Your house, containing everything you own catches fire, you’re able to save your pets and loved ones and have enough time to make a final dash for any one item, what would that be and why?

I don’t think I have anything that I own that I would really go back for…

Can you share a personal problem that you’re going through right now, and the steps that you’re taking to help resolve it?

A problem, a deep-rooted problem is my fear of rejection. That’s something that I’ve been... I’ve always struggled with. I’ve always been a people pleaser: always want to be on their good sides. The older I get, I realize how draining it is, and also unrealistic. So now I’m trying to get over that fear of rejection, just accepting it because this is who I am, if you’re gonna reject me, so be it.

The first thing I’d do would be to change my mindset around that, I’m reading a lot more, trying to reflect on actual situations where I feel I’m avoiding a situation where I may get rejected. Then I think about where does this feeling actually come from?

So I have a few mentors that are helping me and they gave me a perspective that’s really helped. They told me “You’re NOT as important to people as you think you are.” I laughed..it’s actually so true. I create this idea in my head that if I do something and fail at it, everyone’s going to be watching and think poorly of me. But they’re really not, everyone else is caught up in their own lives, they don’t have time to be seeing any of my failures or successes. So I’m learning to just do me and live my own life the way I want it to be.

Any last words of general advice, things to say?

Read more books. Reading books help to you discover issues within yourself that another person can’t see or help you realize. They help you to dive deep within yourself, it’s a safe place because it’s just you and your own thoughts, and when you read something that you can connect with, it gets you to really figure yourself more.