Starting from childhood...

I was really interested in computers, video games, and all of that. I always thought that I’d become a computer programmer, something computer science or IT. That’s what I was focused on, but I also had this weird love of theatre. It was a bit of a conflict growing up, and I didn’t know how to marry the two when I was younger.

I’m finding a little bit more about myself, finding a little bit more of what I need. During the midst of my journey of university, I also picked up martial arts. I like the whole “betterment” idea, using the physical body, using physical space, and understanding that too. After being separated from York, I was working at discount prime truck rentals, I had a friend name Matt, he told me, “Yo, you’re really good at UX.” and I'm like,“What the heck is UX? What’s an Ux? Why are you telling me about Uxes right now?” [laughs] I kinda looked at it for the year, and I'm like, “You know what? ehhh, I dunno.” I started doing more personal development work, reading more books and trying to really figure out a point to what I wanted, and I realize that I still wanted to do something where it was like... being able to interact with people in acting, and stuff like that. I still wanted to be able to use words and things to help get messages across to people, and I also had the aspect of wanting to get back into technology and move into that direction. What I ended up doing was saying like, “You know what? forget it, I’m gonna quit my job, re-apply for school and go into computer science.” I was talking to people and... they were kind of wishy washy, with how I wouldn't be able to go into computer science. I was like, “You know what? Let me just go... if I don't go now, I’m never going.”

So I blocked off time, I went to school, and in the midst of school I realized like, “Oh. my gosh, I don't wanna do functions and calculus!” This was not it either! [laughs] It's getting closer but this was not it. So I ended up being like, “You know what? Let me take another look back into UX.” I started looking at it, I’m just like, “Oh I'm so stupid! There are so many different touch-points of all these things that I wanted that are aligned with me, that I was completely ignoring, that UX had.” I had the time-slot down: of going to school, what can I do? I was working at a barber shop at the time, and I just happen to meet this customer, I believe her name was Courtney, and it was her first time coming in. She mentioned to me that there were different tech accelerator schools around the city. She told me about Brainstation, Bitmaker, RedAcademy, and it was like, “Alright let me go and look!” So when I sent the emails out to all the schools. Bitmaker got back to me almost immediately, Brainstation it took a couple weeks. By that time, Bitmaker already had me go out to lightning talk, alumni talks, they were already there and I was already doing the process, so I was like, “Dope, I’m sold.” So I dropped out of school and ended up going to Bitmaker and from there, spent those 10 weeks learning, and then I kept expanding and learning from my final project—I started picking up freelance things. There was a small phase where I tried to develop my final project, but it just wasn’t aligned cause... a bunch of students that are all looking for work and doing freelance stuff on the side: it’s hard to work on personal projects when there’s something that’s a little bit more guaranteed at the time.

I went to Okinawa to get my black belt in April, that’s why I put back getting a job right out of Bitmaker too. When I came back, got really heavy on applying, within the first few weeks, ended up getting interviews and ended up at Quest trade, a little over six months now. Everyday, I was like “Okay I’m not working, I have no reason to be at home, playing video games like previous me would’ve wanted to do, so let me go to Bitmaker. Let me be around people, let me bother the new cohort and get ideas from them, let me bother the new web devs and get ideas from them.” I also had a networking plan for myself where I wanted to met three people from the industry minimum, every week. To show them my designs, find out what they’re doing, and understand the landscape of what UX is. I spent a lot of time doing that, even during the phase where I was pseudo-applying, just being like, “Oh putting my name out there.” I really wanted to be in front of people, learning... what could they give me, what could they show me?

You feel like you’re actually moving somewhere, cause then you can actually show them what you’ve worked at, you can get direct feedback, and you could apply it so that the next person, you can give them reasons like, “This is why i did it this way, this is why i did it that way.” It actually gives you something that you can continually talk about, of the progress of your progress and how it changed and how you’re developing, versus just like, “I applied a couple places.”

What are some problems that you might deal with that others might not experience?

One problem that springs up a lot is trying to allocate time to all these different areas that I wanna grow in. I guess that could go with anybody, but for me it’s just making sure that they’re kind of related, but they're their own paths. I wanna do UX/UI... great! I have principles that apply to martial arts, but I have to still practise my martial art for itself, which would have things that apply to working my day job or even starting my own podcast, things like that. Yet it’s still its own avenue. So just really, really telling myself no to projects that just can’t happen right now, and making sure that whichever projects I’m taking on are within my capacity of all the other things that I’m trying to work on.

How do you end up blocking out and organizing that time?

There’s so many ways that you can spin it, you gotta find a way to make it smaller individual chunks and be able to shelve it when you need to, and pick it up hen you need to. Theres a Tomato timer... Pomodoro timer? I think it's 15, 25 minute increments, it’s a technique where you block out the time slots. This is what you work on for 25 minutes, cool. Take a five minute break, clear the mind, and then put another time-slot of 25 minutes if I have to. Then making sure that each 25 minute block is associated with a task, and just leave it at that. If I have more things I want to say, just write it down quick and explore it in my next block or whatever. That helps me a lot at work, sometimes I don’t do it, cause I’m just in the zone, or “I don't really know what I should be working on... I’m gonna work on all of this.” [laughs] Trying to find that balance, and making sure you ask yourself, “What am I trying to get out of this session, what am I trying to get out of this time period?” Really focus on that, then give yourself a break and be like, “Alright cool, there’s birds outside,” then come back and be like, “Cool.”

What is currently creating buzz in your industry, or what are you personally keeping track of?

Right now, it’s kinda weird, but I'm keeping track of the development of juniors and the development of career progression within UX. I’ve been keeping an eye on that because there’s no clear guideline, but everybody expects that there is one, like, “Oh yeah, seniors, we wanna have senior UX.” Well it's like, "Okay... what does that look like?" Somebody that’s actually able to put in processes, put in design systems and things like that? Or is it somebody that’s just been saying they’ve been doing it for 5 years, seven years? What is the criteria, how does that look? It’s really weird how you get the level of experience for a senior and junior, things like that. But that’s something that’s very interesting to me, and just how people are going into the path of it.

Given the choice of anyone in the world, dead or alive, who would you want to invite to a dinner party?

For me, it'll have to be... Thomas Sowell... Sowell.. he’s so. well. [laughs] Because, that’s how his last name is spelt, he’s jus-... I dunno, he's like one of the intellectuals, where he really got to me on a deeper level of thinking—of trying to get over myself as being somebody that’s so smart. And because of how smart I am, then that naturally means that I’m gonna solve all the world's problems and... just be this kind of savior figure. I know for me growing up, especially what led to my imposter syndrome was the thought of, “I'm gonna be somebody that’s gonna change the world, cause everybody thinks of me that way.” He really put it in into perspective of, ehhhh... things require tradeoffs. So whatever good I'm looking to do in the world is gonna then be traded off for something else that’s gonna happen, or other things from there. During the moments where I was going through depression and things of that nature... it’s having a lot of anxiety. He really was the one that got me to stop moping over myself. To stop thinking that black people have it as a way worse situation than white people, and to realize that we're all sharing this lived experience that... we have to decide and make choices, and make tradeoffs. Some of them are gonna turn out good, some of them are gonna turn out bad, but we can’t really look at it from the perspective of like, “Oh because they got it better in life" for whatever subjective reasoning. That’s it, that I have no chance, I have no thing. Yeah, just really would like to see his perspective on life and imposter syndrome because he's so... he’s very articulate, and he’s very concise with his answers. I’m just wondering where he gets that source of power from. Just really talk to him.. cause I like that type of... level of brevity. Wonder like, “How? How do you get this smart?”

He’s very cynical about the world, but still, something about him is just so profound. If more people were able to think like this, or just allow them self to think like this, I think there would be less problems in the world. But he also is against the grain of “how to be black.” And I just like to talk to other people that are against the grain of "how to be black" because I find myself like... fitting in that. Fitting in that at times too where it's just... a lot of “black things” I’m not really aligned with. When I was younger... I was ostracized for it too.

It's just like having an awareness that, “Okay, some of these things might happen because of some of these reasons of me being black, me being a male, me being whatever." But, that’s not my defining characteristic: if I trade one of these qualities, I’m gonna get new qualities that also affect me negatively too. If I trade who I am now today for somebody else, it'll be like, “Oh I'd rather be a white man, because they got it easier.” They have their own things that they’re dealing with. I’m just trading off the problems of a black man with the problems of a white man, that’s it! It's not that I’m gonna be problem free, it's just that I’m making a tradeoff to have this. His perspective really helps me a lot and he's somebody that... I just wanna hear his thoughts, especially because he doesn’t really talk to too many people, and I can go around like, “I got to talk to Thomas Sowell” [laughs] Feels like a little bit of that too.

If you could change anything in how you were raised, or how you grew up, what would you change?

My mindset. I think if there was anything that I wanted to change in how I grew up, it would be my mindset towards things, because I was very averse to challenges—I wasn’t very curious about things of wanting to build my future. I spent a lot of time thinking, “It’s okay to play video games, it’s okay to not really do the work, put in the work.” So I think my mindset would’ve been the thing I would want to change the most.

What is the greatest achievement in your life thus far?

I feel the greatest achievement was getting my black belt, to be completely honest. I never was somebody that was physically fit when I was younger. It’s so surreal, cause if I talked to my younger self, before 18, 19, he would’ve never believed that I’d be physically active right now, or that I’d be doing martial arts, teaching martial arts. He’d think that it was just a pipe dream like, “Yeah, don't kid yourself.” I went with the grandmaster and I tested with him, and it was like a training camp that we went to. He also tested me, and it was kind of weird, kind of movie-esque, where it was like, kind of dusk, and there’s one light. This one light is coming from the outside, and you can just see me performing, and like when I’m performing, the sun just hits my eye slightly. It was just really surreal, and one of those things where I never thought in my life I could’ve done it and when it happened it was just like, “How?” It was during a time where I wasn’t working, and it was just... I just finished going to Bitmaker, so I had those problems. It was just... all the things, like, “How am I gonna do this?” And I still managed to make it happen which was really dope.

What do you value the most in relationships, can you describe a best friend?

The thing I value most in my relationships is integrity. Honesty and all of that is great, but to be able to admit when you’re wrong, or be able to admit to me when you think I'm wrong, I think is very important. That opens up the channel of communication and conversation, when you’re not just allowing things to be... letting yourself be walked over. My idea of a best friend is somebody that you want to be accountable to, at any aspect of your life. That’s what makes somebody your best friend: no matter if you’re doing well, if you’re doing poorly, you could always tell them the full story. There can be judgement, their judgement would come from a place like, “Don’t be stupid,” not like, “Oh you’re a terrible person, you suck, stop life.”

What is your most treasured memory?

It’s weird that it's a sad one, but my most treasured memory is the day that my grandfather died, because it happened while I was cutting my cake on my 16th birthday. [laughs] Yeah, so it’s just one thing that reminded me of how precious life is... while we’re celebrating my life, death can happen at the same time, indiscriminate things. That’s something that I treasure very dearly.

What is your most terrible memory?

I think my most terrible memory was a sequence of stuff? It was a period of time, 2016, my feeling of my depression during that phase. I think that was my most terrible memory because... I know now, and I knew probably before that I’m more capable than what happened there. It was just terrible that I let it get to me for so long, because it was like... MONTHS, like a YEAR. It happened after I got broken up, where just like, I thought I was finally on a positive trajectory, cause I was kind of lost in my career, lost in relationships. I thought I was getting on track with relationships, and career, and everything else, and it was just like, boom, no explanation. You’re kind of like... "not good" anymore type of thing. I felt like that’s what was happening with my life in general, that spiralling feeling, and how I extended it... I kept replaying it over in my head. I think that was one of the most terrible things.

Funny enough, it was in an email to my ex, where I wrote down all the things I was still angry about. I found this method of letting go and forgiving. I wrote it down to her, and I’m just like, “Here, there you go. This is what I give to you,” That kind of gave me the freeing feeling of it. I was already doing more personal development stuff, smaller things, listening to motivational speaking, stuff like that, but it was only after sending that email, that I feel like, boom. I was able to restart rebuilding that area that kept creeping into everything else.

If you knew that in one year, you would die suddenly, would you change the way that you are now living? If so, why, if not why not?

I’d say, I won’t want to, but actually... I’d probably change some things. I’d spend more time investing more knowledge and documenting and sharing with people. I’d spend the time sharing what I’ve learned up until now, and what others can do, things like that. I’d definitely put my ass into more gear, just be like, “Imma die anyway.” Work more, love more, play more.

What roles do love and affection play in your life?

They play huge roles in my life, I’m a very affectionate person: kiss my mom every time i see her, my girlfriend too, but even though she's like, “Ohh nooo it's work!” With my brothers and my friends around me and stuff like that, it’s a huge role, I’m always sharing and showing affection. I show affection outside of love, but there’s some people that get more frequent, and I go out of my way to show affection. A coworker, I could show some sort of affection or whatever, but I wouldn't do that regularly, I wouldn't make it a point to show affection. The ones who I would put the effort to consciously show the affection on a regular basis, yeah I’d put that in the love category but then there’s some people that don't fit that.

How close and warm is your family?

Ahh, very close... very close, very close. My parents, my brothers, we talk very frequently. When we got older, we got open to having more deeper conversations about life, what’s happening. Through the depression stages they were always there for me, they’re even there now—it’s very close. My parents were always very open, but we weren't, as kids. I think they wanted us to be more open, but we just never really cause of the whole authority thing. You don’t see them as somebody, or you tell them like, “Yeah I screwed up,” because punishment came, something like that. But then now it's like, they’re no longer having to course correct and it feels like I have more autonomy with myself, so it makes the relationship easier, to have that sort of conversation.

Before meeting you, what is something about you that people should know?

I can be a jerk at times. I’m pretty opinionated, that’s something people should know. As much as I’m sweet and I’m caring and I have that “thing”, I do have my side where I really am very focused on a point where it could come off as offensive, but just know that it’s more my curiosity than it is a judgement and an attack on you.

Any of those moments where I'm confused, and I don't understand something, and you’re giving me that information—that’s where it comes out. If you’re answer isn't satisfactory to make me be able to be like, “Oh cool!”

What do you like most about yourself?

My curiosity. Definitely, definitely, definitely my curiosity, because even being able to get though depression, or starting martial arts—I’m like, “Ehhh, let’s try it, let’s see.” I try to keep an open mind with trying new things. It's very much, very interested in... even just finding out more about something, stuff like that, and making sure that I'm constantly, constantly looking for new ways, new perspectives, I think that’s where I like the most. It has pitfalls where it'll cause me to go down rabbit holes where I don’t need to, but just the fact that I’m always open to new ideas.

When did you last cry in front of another person? When was the last time you cried to yourself?

Probably last time I did a questionnaire—it was with my girlfriend. I was talking about the sadder moments, and things like that. It got a little bit hard, I think I was talking about my mom, how I felt growing up, when it was... Certain aspects, I can’t remember the exact details, but I remember I cried in front of her. When I cried by myself, I don’t know if you’d call it voluntary or not... I can’t remember the dream, but I remember waking up from a dream... I think it was from losing somebody. I remember one time when it was just like, I dreamt about my grandfather, and then he disappeared in the dream, and I woke up in tears. I can’t remember anything outside of that where it was just like... I cried. I’ve gotten a better control of my tear ducts. [laughs]

What, if anything is too serious to joke about?

Trauma... recent trauma. I remember there was something that said, “With time, anything can be funny, time plus tragedy can equal humour,” or something like that. If you have anything... it’s probably more of a personal thing, because like, not for me, but for anybody: when they get more distance from it, then they could joke about it. That person... but you don't know when somebody has the right amount of distance, you don't know when the right amount of time is. So you personally have to be the only one that could judge when something is too, or not far enough away. But if it’s like recent trauma, nobody's gonna joke about their mom dying, or their dad dying. They’re not gonna joke about that, but they could joke about situations that happened with them. I don’t know if there’s like... if there’s anybody would really go back and make fun of how their parents died. Death of parents and children... might not be fun, but again, it depends on the person and the distance.

If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

Telling my dad that he’s done enough... I think so. Where it’s just like, where I’m super proud of him, things like that. It feels like I say it to him, but it’s more like, “Hey buddy... yeah!” Instead of sitting down and looking at him in his eyes and being like, “You still did very well for us, more-so than you think” That’s getting me a little bit emotional... Yeah I think that’s what I’d do. Sometimes they need to know that the weight of the world is no longer on their shoulders, we can take care of ourselves, to a certain degree— better, and let us be able to take care of them, allow them to take care of themselves.

Your house, containing everything you own catches fire, you have enough time to save your loved ones and pets. You have enough time to go back to save one item, what would that be?

Nothing, really. I don’t think I’m gonna risk my life, like I’m gonna rush in and I trip and I’m done? Like nah, I’m not gonna risk that for a piece of item because like, the most important thing, the most important thing in my house is already safe. What am I gonna do? Go and look for pictures? Those pictures could die, my favorite bear growing up could die, my black belt—I’d go buy a new one. It’s just like, yeah there’s nothing... there’s nothing that’s material which defines me so much, that I need to carry it with me so I know I’m still me.

Can you share a personal problem that you’re going through right now? What steps are you taking to solve that issue?

Personal problem that I’m trying to solve is being better at documentation and keeping... making sure I’m staying on track. When I’m not documenting, when I’m not keeping up with it, I find myself going into tendencies and tangents where I just don’t do work, where I don’t know the next step, where everything just seems like it’s so much bigger than it is. One problem that I’m really trying to look at is like, how other people are doing it, seeing different resources like, “Oh! Tony Robbins, you have a way of doing it,” and like, “Oh! Brian Tracy, you have a way of doing it.” Talk to people like, “Oh! How do you do it?” That’s like another way that my podcast has helped me too. The problem with organizing Jermaine is... I think that’s probably where the problem roots from, because, I’m so used to kinda winging it, and not planning. I’d want to a talk and not plan as much and I’m like, “Nonono, you can actually plan.” Like improvisation, cool, that’s great, but the organization I think is what I wanna work on more.

Any last words, general advice?

Ohh man, I have a quote: "The imposter doesn't discriminate.” I think it encapsulates what I’m trying to do with the podcast, and what I’m trying to do with life nowadays. General idea of understanding that you’re not exclusive in any type of feeling where you think that you’re not good enough, or the world is out to get you, or like, just everything isn’t working out, or you don’t have the skillset type of thing. Every single person in the world goes through that, that’s not a mutually exclusive feeling. If you think that you’re special, that’s definitely not the truth, all the celebrities you look up to, all these "IG influencers", your teachers, your friends, they all go through that feeling of, “What the hell am I doing?" So just be part of your own journey, to figure out what the hell you’re doing.